I’m just not sure if I’ll be any good on the grill with one free hand. I could go to jail, or hell, or jail-hell. Ugg, my heart just pooped its pants.Dear Diary: Tonight I’m sneaking off to the abandoned taffy factory to look for treasure. Also, if boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses. My crotch is itchy.I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship with Jimmy Jr. You don’t just throw that away. This is like watching two monkeys at the puberty zoo.

Dr. Yap is dreamy. When he’s looking at my molars, it’s like he’s looking into my soul. I thought I saw a baby bump. Follow me fellas…Lets go somewhere where the sixteen of us can be alone. This is like watching two monkeys at the puberty zoo. I’ll wave at you every day. Sometimes with Jimmy Jr, I don’t know what to say. But now I don’t know what not to say and it’s like okay guys, who can get to my mouth first?Dr. Yap, once I was into you, but after seeing you torture my father, I think we should just be friends with dental benefits. It’s an erotic friend fiction story that I just wrote. I hope you like it, because you’re all in it. It’s called ‘Buttloose.’

The hand wants what the hand wants. My bra’s chafing me. I thought I saw a baby bump. I can’t tell where your back ends and your butt begins. I’m compiling a list of people I can mate with to repopulate the Earth. There is one place I like to go. The boys’ locker room. You can only see up to their ankles. My boob? I’m compiling a list of people I can mate with to repopulate the Earth.